Leaving the House Is Always an Adventure

In preparation for summer I went up to the Exalt Academy of Cosmetology -- one of the great rackets of all time. They train hair stylists there, so you're paying to have your hair cut, and the people cutting your hair are paying to cut it. How did I miss out on this action?

For $6, they can shave my head as close as they dare.

I'm sitting in the chair with my eyes closed, which is how I spent forty-eight years getting my hair cut, because I couldn't see a thing without my glasses. I had two hours of sleep last night / this morning, so I was dozing. Besides, being in a barber's chair with sight makes me uncomfortable.

All of a sudden, I hear this voice: "Excuse me, excuse me." I figured I was being served some warrant for an unknown offense.

There's this mammaw on a rolling stool next to me saying, "I really like your hair that like. Do you do that often? Your hair looks so good like that. I just wanted to tell you that looks good." This is like being told, "Put the Halloween mask back on."

Finally she rolled away, and before I went back to sleep, I told the girl cutting my hair, "That woman scared the hell out of me." At least I got a chuckle out of the trainee.

End of story.