What It Is (posts below left; rate sheet, client list, other stuff below right)

My name is Bob Land. I am a full-time freelance editor and proofreader, and occasional indexer. This blog is my website.

You'll find my rate sheet and client list here, as well as musings on the life of a freelancer; editing, proofreading, and indexing concerns and issues; my ongoing battles with books and production; and the occasional personal revelation.

Feel free to contact me directly with additional questions: landondemand@gmail.com.

Thanks for visiting. Leave me a comment. Come back often.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Haiku Monday (3/21 edition): The Topic Is Sleep

For those of you who've come here for the latest installment in LandonDemand's travails in the publishing world, please excuse -- or revel in -- this temporary interlude.

It's Haiku Monday!

Former participants know the drill, and here it is for the newcomers. Go to the comments section for this post and submit your haiku. This week's topic is sleep. Any take whatsoever on that word is acceptable. The only requirement is that your haiku meet the mandatory 5-7-5 syllable structure. No matter how delightful, if I have to count past that on my fingers on any given line, that's an immediate disqualification.

We editors can be sticklers for style.

Now, those of you who actually know something about what really make up good haiku, have at it, and set an example for the rest of us. I'll try to read up a little on haiku in the meantime and remember what I can from Troll's ongoing teachings, but I can't guarantee that a classically formed and perfect haiku will beat out something that just really grabs my attention.

We editors can be arbitrary.

The competition is intense; there's never a clunker in the bunch. Submit more than one if you're inspired. Deadline is Monday, 3/21/2011, 11:59pm, EDT.

Winner does come away with prizes. Of course, the absolute most coveted prize is the privilege of displaying the Haiku Monday winners' badge, prominently shown in the right-hand column of this blog. (I am an extremely humbled former winner of this honor.) You can display the badge on your own blog or, presumably, your Facebook page, your mailbox, your forehead, or anywhere else you'd like to draw attention to your accomplishment.

The second most coveted prize I am demonstrating here: the option of hosting and judging the following week's contest (not mandatory).

The final prize (not available in all states; supplies are limited) is a gift from the judge or another contributor. This week's gift is a book from the LandonDemand client library. Among the fascinating tomes you could win are

Real Phonies: Cultures of Authenticity in Post-World War II America
Fragging: Why US Soldiers Assaulted Their Officers in Vietnam
Dual Disasters: Humanitarian Aid After the 2004 Tsunami
Stepping-Stones: A Journey Through the Ice Age Caves of the Dordogne
Contentious Liberties: American Abolitionists in Post-Emancipation Jamaica, 1834-1866
Envisioning Nature, Science, and Religion
Einstein, Polanyi and the Laws of Nature
Cowboy Park: Steer-Roping Contests on the Border

In keeping with this week's theme, I can guarantee that many of these books will indeed induce sleep.

I've got many more. Depending on the winner's area of interest, I'll try to unearth something you'd actually want to read or can give to someone as a gift. Trust me, no offense taken. I read every one of the above titles because I was paid to -- although some had the side benefit of being interesting and well-written.

As will your haiku.

Winner announced sometime Tuesday, 3/22/2011. Best of luck. And if you're new to Haiku Monday or this blog, feel free to participate. Everyone is welcome.

So, haiku away. If you're not already there, the topic is sleep.

PS: For an example of a previous contest, please visit http://trollstroll.blogspot.com/2011/02/haiku-monday-water.html


darkfoam said...

i laughed at the sleep inducing books. :-)
have fun hosting! i have a few ideas i'm playing around with..
i'll be back.

Joe D G said...

We who are asleep
Must lose all we hold dearly
To see it clearly

Drew said...

my favorite - but off topic - haiku, by my brother:

Do not count the lines
or the syllables either
this is a haiku

my more on topic one:

pleasures of the flesh
i sleep every chance i get
the second best thing

czar said...

Some of the best times
I’ve had: dreaming. Fleeting space,
Leaving no regrets.

Jenny said...

You are funny and I'll be back on Monday.

Karen said...

Is it Murphy's Law?
Stomach flu kicks in at 3
a.m, not p.m.

darkfoam said...

piercing squeals of child
buzzing whining chainsaw noise ..
snooze interruptus

forty winks gone sour
writhing stretch, contorted yawn
sleep inertia sucks

Anonymous said...


Play that dead band's song.
Things to do in Denver, dead.
He sleeps cause he's dead.

Must. Come. Up. With. Better. Haiku. Monday.

moi said...

This is what you get for psoting early; lots of good haiku already. Soooooo glad I'm not judging but I'm gunning, because Stepping-Stones: A Journey Through the Ice Age Caves of the Dordogne must be mine, all mine!

Anonymous said...

Dead Poet Salute

Promise Keeper stops
to watch woods fill up with snow.
Frosted Solstice ride.

Anonymous said...


I awake to learn
lizards lunch upon their own.
Shedding skin sometimes.

I'm UP with visuals.

Jenny said...

I'm up with visuals too.

and here's my entry:

Dogs slumber and dream
Spring awakens the rest with sun
plants and birds rejoice

Happy Haiku Monday. Good luck judging! :-)

moi said...

I'm up with visuals, but I know you're blind judging. So, good luck!

Hot tub, iced room, stiff
Drink. Delay sweethearts’s plea. Sleep!

Sprung from winter’s cold
cruel womb, newborn shoots bloom a
tribute to the sun.

Flash of kitchen knives
sunk deep into fattened flesh.
Psycho sous chef dreams.

sparringK9 said...

you had me at phonies and fraggers

a little like death
defenseless hemispheres wait
for birdsong alarm

im up with visual.

sparringK9 said...

according to the
circadian rhythm
siesta at two

Aunty Belle said...

@ Moi

Dang it! I want *Stepping Stones*!

Nice write up Czar. See what all youse attracted so far? Oh --the judgin' will be tough.

Jenny said...

Mr. Boxer has pointed out my counting error, so I'll resubmit:

Dogs slumber and dream
Spring sun awakens the rest
plants and birds rejoice

Unknown said...

Here you go, Bob, three.

The Haiku That Dare Not Speak Its Name

That Scots couple, in
Iambic pentameter
Murdered more than sleep

Okay, okay, how about

I’d love to write one:
A haiku about sleep, but
I can’t stay awake

Or all right, how ‘bout

A Response to Mr. Dick

Running through Blades of
Grass, the sheep also dream of
Electric shepherds

fishy said...

Insectuous dream horror
Gregor's waking Hell

Beauty under glass
Thorn'd, tangled, entrapping, rose
Apple sedation

Teal night sky with moon
Sweet Lion's breath kiss of peace
Gypsy dreams of God

Deep clover dreaming
Rotating reality
Damn! Human humor

Visuals up!

Milk River Madman said...

Aquistion over
Uncertainty is fading
Now I can get some

Milk River Madman said...

Sorry, typo, should be *aquisition

Karl said...

Good afternoon Czar.

Well sir, you have your work cut out for you. And it's nice to see some new faces. Aren't busman's holidays fun.

I'm up, not at all.
Tis some sweet slumber I need,
on autopilot.

So what if I am
burning my candle at both ends
rest awaits in the grave.

From way down in the deep.
It's where the tomahawks take wing.
Bird lands, no one sings.

Vernal Equinox
From her long nap, so begins.
The flowery revival.

One last one off topic.

From east coast to west.
Seems to be a recurring theme.
Fifty one and fighting.

Anonymous said...

I weep in my sleep.
On the pillow, a shadow
of my face remains.

Kymical Reactions said...

I Czar, I'm new to your page, but not new to Haiku Monday!

My Entry:

More than exhausted.
My movements; silent. Even
sleeping in my dreams

Sharon Rudd said...

Great job, as always, by the participants, and good luck with the judging, Czar! I remain haiku-less, but always enjoy checking out the entries.

As a former editor of college textbooks and professional books, I had to laugh at your snooziful book prize selections. I still have a copy of Carbonate Sequence Stratigraphy: Recent Developments and Applications - “for the pictures” :)

Happy Haiku Monday!

Joe D G said...

Bob - Been trying to send email to you for several days. All attempts to send to landondemand@bvunet.net
I receve this in response.Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:


Technical details of permanent failure:
Google tried to deliver your message, but it was rejected by the recipient domain. We recommend contacting the other email provider for further information about the cause of this error. The error that the other server returned was: 550 550 permanent failure for one or more recipients (landondemand@bvunet.net:blocked) (state 18).